MLMom Blog

Blonde jokes: Blondes and money

2006-04-18T07:04:00.000Z

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.

Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.

She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mello Yello. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.

"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?"

She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"

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A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security
for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce
parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the
bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives
the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had
your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a
little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you
are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?"

The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks
for 15 bucks?"

Blonde jokes: Blonde drivers

2006-04-17T14:04:00.000Z

How do you recognize a blond at a car wash?
He's the one on his bike.
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Two blonds observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of
their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting
to rain and the top is down!
-----------------------------------------
A policeman pulled a blond over after he'd been driving the wrong
way on a one-way street.
Cop:  Do you know where you were going?
Blond: No, but whatever it is, it must be bad since everyone's leaving.
-----------------------------------------

As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff
asks her what happened.

The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I
looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I
saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was
another tree, and another and another ..."

The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I
don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even
resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air
freshener."

Not so dumb blonde jokes

2006-04-17T11:10:00.000Z

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

Q:What's black and blue and lying in a ditch?
A Redhead who has told one too many dumb blonde jokes.

A blonde and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a
long flight. To pass the time, the lawyer suggested that
they try to stump one another with trivia.

"If I ask you something that you don't know, you owe me $5.
The same goes if you ask me something I don't know."

The blonde refused.

"Okay. If you don't know an answer, you pay me $5, but if I
don't know an answer, I pay you $50."

The blonde accepted. The Lawyer went first.

"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde didn't say anything, but merely reached into her
purse, pulled out a $5 bill and handed it to the lawyer.
Then it was her turn.

"What has four legs going up a hill, but only three coming
down?"

The lawyer had no idea, so he gave her a $50 bill.

"So, what is it?"

The blonde said nothing, but merely reached into her purse
and gave a $5 bill to the lawyer.